


anticipation

by spacegirl



Series: fragments [2]
Category: Polygon/McElroy Vlogs & Podcasts RPF
Genre: Anal Sex, Brian is causing mischief as always, Dom/sub, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Phone Sex, lots of texting, mentioned safe word use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-10
Updated: 2019-05-10
Packaged: 2020-02-29 16:13:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18781702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacegirl/pseuds/spacegirl
Summary: “You were looking for trouble and you found it.” Pat’s voice is cold now, but not angry. “Or can you explain why you just couldn’t wait?”It’s a way out. Brian is thankful for the option because, yeah, imagine he wasn’t a little shit trying to rile up his boyfriend. Imagine he had to spend three days sad instead of three days with ever increasing excitement over what kind of trouble he’ll be in when he gets back to Pat. That would suck. Fortunately for both of them Brian is a little shit.





	anticipation

**Author's Note:**

> This wouldn't have been possible without fishcola who not only provided wonderful encouragement and checked it through to help me work out the kinks. (ha!) But also wrote the badass sonnet that's in the middle of this. What a gem. <3
> 
> There's a safeword moment towards the end but it's not intense or distressing and it's just a memory, but it's there if you're looking to avoid that vibe.

Brian’s not as needy as he pretends to be; he just likes the drama of it all.

He’s been on FaceTime to Pat for just under an hour and they’ve spoken barely more than a few sentences to each other. Pat warned him that he would be busy, but he didn’t think he meant _this_ busy. “Pat, come on. How long will the edit take, it’s nearly two in the morning for me.”

“I told you it wasn’t going to be worth you hanging around.” Pat’s expression shifts softer, Brian thinks he’s clicked back to the FaceTime window, and can see Brian’s face again. Brian sits up a little, shifts the laptop on his legs and tries to look as alluring as possible. “You being shirtless doesn’t change the fact that I need to get this done tonight. I’m sorry Bri, you should just head to bed.”

“No I’ll wait, if I fall asleep then I fall asleep. It’s fine.”

Pat huffs a breath, “What are you even waiting for?”

“You to tell me how great I am and how much you miss me and all the terribly wicked things you’ll want to do with me when I get back.” Brian smirks.

“Of course this would just be about you wanting to get off. I have to finish this work first.” Pat’s voice is stern.

“That’s fine.”

Brian thinks it will be fine, until it’s been another twenty minutes and there’s still no sign of Pat being done anytime soon. Brian should just go to bed and sleep, but he’s terrible and stubborn. It’s not like he can’t survive without waiting another day to jerk off, besides, he was the one who gave himself the rule that the couldn’t jerk off without Pat’s permission.

Brian’s always been of the belief that rules are only there to be broken, even if they’re self-imposed. He mutes the mic for the FaceTime call on his laptop, puts his headphones into his phone, and calls Simone in the hopes of causing some trouble. She answers on the third ring.

“You sure it’s a good idea calling me from England? Isn’t this going to cost you a shitload?”

“It’s fine.” Brian’s watching Pat on his screen, making sure he’s still looking intensely concentrated on the work he’s doing and that he can’t see what Brian’s up to. Brian thinks his poor FaceTime window is probably neglectfully hidden under at least five Adobe suite windows anyway. “Want to help me cause some trouble?”

“Oooh, always, I’m listening. What’s the idea?”

“I’m not supposed to get off without Pat giving me permission. But Pat’s ignoring me to do work. And it’s so late here, I just wanna get off and go to bed. Please Simone. You gotta save me.” He lets his voice sound demanding and bratty.

Simone laughs. “Pat’s being boring so you had to come to me?” Brian thinks she’d be pinching his cheek hard if she was here right now. “I’ll always help you pet, but you have to deal with whatever the consequences are.”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you.” Brian rushes out. “I’m going to unmute the FaceTime with Pat, can you hit me with a litany of filth, see if you can make me moan loud enough to distract him?”

“Is there ever a day in your life where you’re not looking to cause trouble?” She laughs. “Okay, you ready?”

Simone waits until Brian’s finished shuffling around and is waiting patiently, honestly he’s half hard already.

“Okay, start jerking yourself off nice and slow baby. Bet you’re hard already right? Have you been hard since you started speaking to Pat? Poor thing. Horny and desperate to come on camera for him to see, and he doesn’t even care. He’ll care when he finds out about this though. Even if he doesn’t catch you, I’ll still tell him, and we both know there’ll be hell to pay.”

Brian bites his lip then, starting to jerk a bit faster as Simone’s voice washes over him.

“Wonder what the punishment will be? You probably won’t be able to sit down without wincing for a few days, that’s a given. He’ll call you all the names under the sun while he’s smacking your ass till it’s black and blue. Don’t forget to play with your balls a little bit. Don’t pretend you’re not putting on a show in the hopes Pat will click back to see you like this.”

Brian follows her instructions. He moves a little so he’s more in frame too, because Simone is right, and that is half the point of this.

“He’ll probably call you a needy slut, a disobedient whore, maddeningly desperate and almost always completely undeserving.” Brian’s breath hitches a little at that. He’s watching Pat on screen. Pat’s gorgeous as always, biting his lip a little as he furrows his brow in concentration, he hasn’t noticed anything. “What do you think he’ll hit you with? Think he’ll hit you at all? Oooh maybe he’ll just fuck your throat and leave you on your knees until they’re so sore you're crying with it.”

Brian’s breathing is definitely getting more ragged.

“Don’t worry though baby. I’ll be good cop if he’s too mean to you. Suck you off just how you like. Finger you real gentle until you’re shaking and moaning for more.” There’s a little whimper then, it’s not enough for Pat to hear, but Simone does. Her voice is soft, sweet even. “That’s it. Are you getting closer Bri? Are you, come on, answer me.”

Brian pulls his hand off his dick, goes still for a second or two and whispers _yes_ as quietly as possible.

“I didn’t say you could stop touching yourself.” Her voice drops back into her more typical harsh tone. “Maybe you don’t even want me to be good cop when you get back. Knowing what a little pain slut you are, you’d probably rather me and Pat work together to make you sorry for all this. Leave you tied to the bed crying while we both take turns having our way with you.”

Brian’s getting really close now, and he barely manages to stop a moan escaping his lips. He notices Pat mess with his headphones. He might have heard that.

She flips her voice back to being sweet then, the same voice she uses when she’s petting his hair and telling him what a good job he’s done. “You’re so smart though Brian, you knew Pat was too busy to give you permission to come so you came to me instead. At least you won’t be making yourself come without any permission. Maybe Pat will be proud? Go on Bri, you’ve got to be close now. Close your eyes, jerk faster, get into it. Imagine Pat’s proud of you for coming to me instead. Imagine he lets you fuck me while he fingers you open. You’d go wild. Twitching and shaking and desperate to come.”

Brian does whimper then.

“Go on then Brian. Come for me, come for both of us. You know you won’t be able to stop a moan when you do. Pat will see you then. The perfect picture of insolence. Covered in your own come as you moan down the phone to me.”

Brian comes hard with a moan, just as Simone predicted, hips bucking as he fucks into his hand.

 

 

 

His head is still swimming when Pat’s voice is loud and harsh, startling him into opening his eyes. Pat is blushing slightly on screen, but his face is angry. “Brian. You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.”

“Bye Simone.” Brian says quickly, and hangs up, pulling the headphones out of his ears.

“Bye Simone? _Simone?_ ” Pat pushes his hair back from his face.

“Well you said I couldn’t come without permission so I thought—” Joyful suspense starts to bubble in Brian’s stomach as he watches Pat go through the motions of working himself up. Pat slides his chair back from his desk a little with a huff, mouth held in a tight disapproving line as he taps his fingers against the desk to build some agitation.

“Without _MY_ permission Brian. You’re always looking for loopholes. I was trying to get some work done, I told you I couldn’t deal with your fucking neediness tonight, and instead of being patient or just letting me get on with my work, you go and call Simone.”

“I thought-” Brian bites his lip and makes his eyes go wide, a well practised picture of innocence.

It’s not enough to affect Pat. “You didn’t. You’ve just got no patience, and you’ve recently figured out how you can play me and Simone off against each other. I’m not having it. It’s fucking ridiculous.”

Brian figures Pat will be able to think of something Brian can punish himself with, even if it’s not being able to touch himself until he gets back in a few days.

“Shame you can’t punish me to make me sorry for what I did.” Brian tries not to let any excitement creep into his voice.

“Yes I can, and you’re gonna hate it.” Oh boy, oh boy does Brian feel excited when Pat says that in such a confident tone. He tries to imagine what kind of creative solution Pat has come up with. “I’m not speaking to you until you get back-”

“No. _Please_.” Brian cuts him off begging. “You know that’s the worst thing for me. You know I hate being ignored.”

Brian does hate being ignored, but he’s not begging sincerely. He hates it so much, but they’ve never pushed it, never seen what it’ll be like after Brian has made himself almost manic with how desperately he needs Pat’s attention. He told Pat they should try this sometime, and they’d never be able to do this for a few days when they’re working together. It makes sense to give it a try when Brian’s away.

“You were looking for trouble and you found it.” Pat’s voice is cold now, but not angry. “Or can you explain why you just couldn’t wait?”

It’s a way out. Brian is thankful for the option because, yeah, imagine he wasn’t a little shit trying to rile up his boyfriend. Imagine he had to spend three days sad instead of three days with ever-increasing excitement over what kind of trouble he’ll be in when he gets back to Pat. That would suck. Fortunately for both of them, Brian is a little shit.

“No. I was being a brat. On purpose. You were _ignoring me_.” He whines again like a petulant child.

“Well done. You’ve only made it worse for yourself.” He huffs an angry breath. “See you on Friday.”

Brian does some more pleading in the last few seconds, but Pat ends the call.

A thrill runs through Brian thinking about what mischief they’ll get into when he gets back, wondering if Pat will want to punish him more for being so needy, or if he’ll be rewarded for dealing with being ignored.

In reality it won’t be that terrible being ignored, not when he’s on vacation. It would be much harder if he was still in New York and Pat was actively ignoring him. It’s just dealing without texting and some sleepy phone calls. Brian’s only got two days left before he’s heading back home, and he has plans with his sister for both days anyway.

 

 

 

He can still send Pat messages, Pat just won’t reply. That’s fine. Brian’s always been good at shouting into the void.

When Brian wakes up on Wednesday he figures he’ll start with a heartfelt apology.

 

 **Wednesday** 09:47

**Pat, I know you won’t reply to this but I just wanted to tell you that I’m really sorry for what I did last night. Really, really, sorry. I should have let you focus on work without being so desperate and needy for your attention. Also I shouldn’t have been such a horny troublemaking slut and dragged Simone into it. It’s completely my fault and not hers at all. I’ll make it all up to you as soon as I’m home. I promise. I’ll be so good for you.**

 

He thinks it’ll be a few hours until Pat wakes up, and he doesn't want to piss him off spamming him with too many messages through the day. Just enough that he can make it a bit of a challenge for Pat to ignore him.

 

 **Wednesday** 13:12

 **Please keep me in line.  
** **I’m too slutty to handle.  
** **You totes love it though.**

**(incase you didn’t have the urge to count out syllables thats a haiku)**

 

 

Brian plans to be as distracting as possible on Pat’s phone until he’s back, and if that means he’ll have to deal with harsher punishments he’ll take it. He figures he can put his creative writing degree to practise, hit off as many different styles as he can remember. He knows he should focus on the sweet romantic stuff, but he also knows Pat’s sense of humor and can’t resist writing a limerick.

 

 **Wednesday** 16:01

 **There once was a young man named Brian  
** **Who was constantly moaning and cryin’  
** **He’d get tied to Pat’s bed  
** **and give lots of head  
** **‘Cause it always turned out he’d been lyin’**

 

 

Brian sends through a photo next. It’s early evening and he’s about to go out for a meal with Laura and some friends, he’s wearing the shirt Pat bought him a few weeks ago. It’s a simple mirror selfie, but Brian thinks he looks good, which means Pat definitely will. Brian did debate sending an artsy nude, but it’s only just gone two in the afternoon in New York, Pat will still be in work, Brian doesn’t want to distract Pat and cause more trouble.

He gets a text from Simone ten minutes later;

 

 **Wednesday** 19:17

_**He doesn’t want me to text you but he’s dying over all these messages.  
** **You never make it easy for him huh?** _

 

 **I can’t just let him ignore me without causing some sort of difficulty  
** **where’s the fun in that?**

 

 

Brian gets back well past midnight, what was supposed to be a meal and a few drinks had turned into them staying in the pub until it closed. He’s drunk enough that the room feels wobbly when he stumbles through the door and flops onto his bed. He knows he’s going to have to get up to pee before he falls asleep, but he doesn’t want to think about that yet.

 

 **Thursday** 00:48

 **I’mn vry drunk. Autocorrect pls savvy me.  
** **I’m gona bso good when i get home Pat. Prmise. Promise.  
** **Really.**

 

 

 

Brian wakes up with only the slightest hangover, which he’s beyond grateful for since Laura is knocking on his door loudly before his alarm has even had a chance to go off. There’s a full day planned for their last day, some shopping, some walking; plus they’ve booked in for an afternoon tea with some of Laura’s friends. When they booked it he felt like he was intruding and shouldn’t go, now he’s being ignored by Pat he’s glad he doesn’t have to find something to do with his afternoon.

Brian gets out of bed, showers and sends Pat some much more indecent photos than he sent the night before. There’s a moment when the three dots appear, and Brian’s heart swells at the thought of Pat talking to him again. The idea that he could break Pat with just a photo of him buck naked, skin still pink from the shower, the finer details only obscured by the steaminess of the mirror.

The three dots bounce for a few seconds, but a message never comes through. After that Brian figures he’ll up his game and start working on some poems to distract Pat with.

 

 **Thursday** 08:54

 **I can’t wait to see you tomorrow.  
** **Bet you’ve got a whole plan outlined in your head already.  
** **Love you.**

 

It’s easy enough for Brian to open his notes app whenever he gets a quiet moment, free-writing and following his stream of consciousness until he gets some lines he likes and can twist about into a poem. Pat’s not hyper-critical anyway, he’s told Brian in the past he loves his writing, even when it’s not polished. Brian would feel self conscious if anyone else was going through his notebooks reading half finished lyrics, Pat always looks up at him with adoration on his face though and it makes Brian’s heart soar.

 

 **Thursday** 10:02

 **I was told not to go looking for trouble, but  
** **Getting me to follow rules is always difficult.  
** **Now I’m trapped behind a wall of silence  
** **Only hoping you’re suffering on the other side too.  
** **Rewards and punishment all get mixed up in my mind,  
** **Everything you do to me,  
** **Drives me wild.**

 

  

 **Thursday** 11:11

 **It’s 11:11 make a wish…  
** **I wish you were here to pin me against a wall and kiss me until I can’t breathe.  
** **I wish I was there so you could fuck me until I can’t walk.  
** **I wish I wasn’t such a brat who had to be punished with silence.**

 

 

 **Thursday** 14:04

 **about a hundred hours ago i left--  
** **you helped me pack. you told me what to bring,  
** **reminded me of all. yet, i'm bereft  
** **sans lips, sans eyes, sans you, sans everything.**

 **some threescore hours ago i was a tool  
** **and pissed you off (which totally was fair).  
** **now you're not there to talk. ay me! a fool--  
** **i find without you there is no there there.**

 **and now it's been a day since last we spoke  
** **that's four-and-twenty hours beats my heart  
** **hopef'ly some tender mercies i'll invoke  
** **through poems and my other devilish arts.**

 **i'll be SO GOOD. forgive these sins of mine.  
** **i'm counting down from hour thirty-nine**

 

The sonnet doesn’t come as easy as the other poetry, it’s not just letting his emotions take over and seeing where the writing ends up, he’s got to be more thoughtful. He doesn’t think he could have finished it in a half an hour train journey if he hadn’t just finished working on the Pokérap, stressed and unstressed syllables still bouncing around his brain. He’s proud of it when he reads back through it and he imagines Pat will probably be waking up to it, or reading it when he gets into work. A thrill goes through Brian thinking about how Pat would react; proud, impressed, probably close to adoring.

 

 

 **Thursday** 17:11

 **All the marks you left on me are starting to fade,  
** **I run my fingers across the bruises you gifted my thighs  
** **and wonder how many lifetimes I’ve been waiting**

 **for someone like you  
** **to destroy  
** **someone like me.**

 **I throw myself to the mercy of your body  
** **again and  
** **again  
** **because there’s nothing to be afraid of**

 **You will hold my heart in your hands  
** **until we fall off the edge of the earth**

  


**Thursday** 20:12

 **I’m bad with patience.  
** **time seems infinite  
** **when I’m talking  
** **to myself**

 **tick  
** **tock  
** **tick  
** **tock**

 **how many hours of silence  
** **are left now?**

  


Brian’s shocked when he gets back from helping Laura finish packing later in the night to see a message from Pat has come through. It wasn’t straight away after the tanka poetry, so Brian doesn’t think he’s caving to the gestures of romanticism. It’s a simple message;

_**I’ll be home in an hour. I’ll call you then.** _

Brian doesn’t reply, he’s not sure if he’s supposed to. It doesn’t feel like it. But he spends the next hour looking at the time more than he ever has in his life. He takes back what he’d written a few hours ago, time seems infinite when he’s waiting to hear the sound of Pat’s voice.

When it’s over an hour since the message and Brian is trying to resist going out of his mind with the need to text Pat and ask him if he’s okay, ask him if he’s still going to call, to whine about how it’s been over an hour. Maybe that was the plan, get Brian to think the silent treatment was over, only to reveal more of Brian’s brattiness and amp up the punishment.

Brian’s heart flips at the thought, Pat can be so cunning; he might as well be a supervillain dedicated to ruining Brian’s life via sexy anticipation.  
  


 

 

Finally the phone rings, a full two hours after the text message. Brian doesn’t plan on complaining though.

“Brian.” Pat’s voice is harsh. “Hope it hasn’t been too bad being ignored.” Brian’s quiet, waiting for Pat to tell him if he wants him to reply. There’s a beat.

“Well? Do you think you’ve learnt your lesson?”

“Yes sir.” Brian responds quickly.

“Good.” Pat goes quiet then, there’s a long moment of silence. Brian can hear his heartbeat in his ears. “Hey, sorry. I need to break out of this a minute, that okay?”

Brian lets out a breath he didn’t realise he was holding. “Of course. You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, tired. Are you?”

Brian giggles. “Yeah, I’m good. Tired as well.” There’s another pause. “Hey.”

Pat laughs then, it’s warm as sunshine and makes Brian’s whole body relax a little more. “Hi. Missed you.” Brian just hums happily down the phone. “I called because I figured we need to work out what’s happening tomorrow. And I can’t find a way to do it all in character.”

Brian laughs. “Yeah that’s fine. My flight gets in just after seven tomorrow night, I’m guessing I’ll be through customs and everything by eight?”

“You coming straight here?” Brian can hear Pat moving about his apartment, probably cooking something or getting things set up if he’s streaming later.

“No I’m going to go back to mine with Laura, drop off my case.” Brian explains. “Cool if I come to you after that?”

“Yeah of course. No matter what time it is. Like even if you’re delayed or anything, or like, if that happens I can come to yours.”

“Cool.”

“Am I going to ruin the suspense if I tell you that I think this might have been harder for me than it was for you?” Pat’s voice sounds a little strung out. “All the shit you were sending me and I had to not reply.”

“Aww, thanks.” Brian laughs, more than a little proud of himself. “It would have been harder for me if I had to not speak probably. I’ve got a whole page in the notes app on my phone that’s a list of funny shit that happened that I couldn’t text you about.”

“Me too!” Pat’s voice is loud and enthusiastic down the phone. “We’ve had the most fucking bizarre days in the office, and the whole time I’m trying to balance how much this suspense will pay off, over my desperate need to fill you in on what’s happened.”

In the end, the suspense loses, and Brian wants Pat to tell him everything.

There's a lot of yawning after a while, and the sixth time Brian interrupts Pat’s story with a yawn, Pat asks, “Shit, what time is it for you now? You’ve got to be up early.”

“Nearly one. Shit. We’ve been on the phone for three hours.” Brian laughs. “I have not been quiet enough on this phone call.”

“Shit! No you haven’t, there’s no way Laura hasn’t heard you laughing like a wild child.” Pat takes his turn to yawn, and Brian yawns again. “Alright, let’s stop sending yawns across the Atlantic. You need to get to sleep Bri.”

“Yeah. Probably a good idea. I can’t wait to see you, love you loads.”

“Love you too.”

  
  


Brian wakes up Friday and can’t wait to be home, traveling back from anywhere always seems much more drawn out and much less exciting than traveling there. But after speaking to Pat last night, and nearly two days of being ignored, Brian feels like he needs to get back into Pat’s arms more than he needs oxygen.

He’s exhausted when he has to wake up early in the morning to get to the airport, Laura’s got no sympathy for him, “That’s what you get for spending all night on the phone.” She sing-songs and ruffles his hair. “Like lovesick puppies the two of you.”

They’ve been staying out in the country, so there’s a few hours on the bus before they get back into London and then they’re dealing with dragging cases around on the tube to get to the airport. Brian feels fully exhausted, four hours of traveling behind him, another nine or ten in front of him, all he can think about is how great it will be to sleep in Pat’s bed tonight.

Brian tries to shrug off how tired he feels, pushing through on some energy drinks and sweets in the airport, figuring he’ll crash out of the sugar rush when they get into the air and fall asleep for the eight hours, fully rested and ready for whatever Pat’s got waiting for him at home.

  
  


Unfortunately that doesn’t happen. Brian is two hours into the flight, with Laura asleep next to him when he starts to feel sick with tiredness. He can’t find a position where he’s comfy and is reaching ever higher levels of stress as he fidgets around in his seat. The worst part is how much he _knows_ all that sugar didn’t help him.

He wishes Pat were here to lean on, or to throw his arm around him. He’s pretty sure Pat would let Brian lay across his lap and fuss his hair for a full eight hour flight if it’s what he wanted. He takes some deep breaths, tries to calm himself down, and throws on a film.

Laura wakes up when they come around with food, it’s not great but it’s something, and Brian’s determined to eat it just in case Pat has something planned for as soon as he gets in. It sends a thrill through him, even though he feels half broken if he’s being honest with himself. He has to cling on to that feeling of anticipation.

Otherwise he’s overtaken with mushy feelings, thinking about how much he wants to cuddle, and show Pat photos of what they saw, and just lie around in bed chatting until he undoubtedly passes out first and probably snores quietly into Pat’s neck.

He doesn’t want all the suspense they’ve built to be for nothing, and he’s always been excellent at getting lost in daydreams, so Brian puts some music on and tries to get into the headspace. It’s not that tough, the _Pat Gill sexiest moments_ memory archive is always a pleasure to trawl through.

  


 

He thinks about what Pat had said to him a few weeks ago. After he was thrown against the wall, then pinned by Pat’s forearm across his chest. _God what will you do when I get bored of you?_ Brian could only whimper. _This seems like all you’re good for. Taking a beating and getting superbly fucked._ Pat’s laugh was cold.

He’d found enough of a voice to whisper. “You won’t get bored of me. I promise.” And looked Pat in the eye then.

He squirms again as he thinks about it now. How deliciously cruel Pat’s voice was in his ear. _You better remember that whenever you’re begging me for forgiveness sometime._

That’s a fun memory. He looks at the time left on the flight. Four hours. He still feels dreadful, but he can push through on daydreaming.

 

There’s so many amazingly sexy moments he can run through, like the time he’d finished getting ready to go out with Laura and Jonah, and Pat had seen him in his new jeans and leather jacket and gone wild over it. Even though there was only ten minutes before he needed to leave Pat’s, and he really had to leave on time because they were already a little late, but Pat insisted he _had_ to suck Brian off before he left, and really who was Brian to argue with that.

 

Brian thinks back to how he felt the last time Simone was over, and they got _rough_ with him, rough like he couldn’t just goad them into it with bratty whining and disobedience, rough like he had to tell them specifically what he was looking for.

He remembers how he felt when Pat manhandled him into the bathroom, voice rough and vicious, “You look a state. Fix your makeup. Simone will be here soon.” Brian remembers trying to reapply the red lipstick with shaking hands, feeling worn out already. Jaw aching from how Pat had just used his mouth, cheek still red from a harsh slap he hadn’t been expecting.

He thinks about Simone pinching his cheek hard after she tied him to the bedpost later on, leaving him blindfolded, skin tingling all over with anticipation. He still feels like he was left there for ages as they made out on the bed without him — Simone swears he wasn’t left for more than ten minutes.

It’s impossible to think about all of this without his mind dredging up the sappy stuff too, like the moments not long after Simone had got there and he’d needed to stop and ask for a break. Simone and Pat both curled around him in bed, tracing light fingers across his chest, keeping up constant whispers of encouragement and praise for what felt like ages. _We don’t have to keep going, you’ve already done so well, made us so proud_ — of course Brian had wanted to push on.

He thought he could get back into it. Pat had pulled Brian across his lap, to keep him still, Simone wasn’t even hitting that hard to start, but he only counted to eight before knew he couldn’t take anymore. He’d got his safeword out, barely more than a whisper, but they both heard. Simone dropped to her knees to push his hair off his face, peppering kisses over his wet cheeks, asking him what he needed.

He’d cried for a while, frustrated with himself for setting himself too big of a task, feeling like he’d let them both down, emotionally exhausted from the scene. He _hadn’t_ let them both down, they assured him. There was lots of cuddles and talking, and later when they both fucked him more gently than he’d thought could even be possible, he’d started crying again.

Pat panicked a bit, Brian laughed though, wiping at his eyes. “Sorry, these are just happy tears. I just love you both so much. You’re really amazing.”

“You’re really amazing too Bri.” Simone’s voice was soft.

“The most amazing person in the world probably.” Pat smiled down at him.

  
  


Brian wipes at his face, he’s crying a little bit just from the memory of it all — he feels like he did that night all over again, tired and frustrated with a stupid aching body. It’s a bit different, he’s just worn down by travel instead of being roughed up, but his heart is in his throat all over again, and he knows he can’t go through with the scene when he gets to Pat’s.

Brian pulls out his phone and types out a text to Pat, ready to send when the plane lands.  


**I’m really sorry Pat, I can’t keep to the plan. I’m too exhausted.  
** I think I’ll just want to fall asleep with you cuddling me like pretty much straight away.  
**That sorry is just a courtesy like I know I don’t have to be sorry for cancelling.  
** **I’ve cried a little bit on the plane thinking about how much I love you lol.**

Brian pretty much zones out for the rest of the flight, puts on Monsters Inc and tries quieting his mind for the last few hours. He finds he can settle down better now he’s not trying to amp himself up for punishment, and thinks he might even have fallen asleep for a while since he can’t remember seeing some bits of the film. Laura wakes up after a while anyway, there’s more food and they both entertain themselves through the rest of the flight chatting nonsense to each other.

Brian feels kind of like a zombie by the time the plane lands and they’re going through customs, a text message comes through from Pat when they’re waiting for their cases.

 **Friday** 20:28

 _**I love you and can’t wait to see you. What a dork.  
** _ _**I’m not bothered at all honestly I just want to have you back in my bed** _

**Stop being nice I’ll cry again. See you in like an hour I think.**  
  
  


In the end it takes more than two hours for Brian to get to Pat’s place, he goes home with Laura to drop his case off and gets caught up chatting to Jonah about their trip, grabbing a snack since he feels like he might fall down. Brian gets a quick shower and gets out of the clothes that he’s been stuck in all day and finally starts to feel a little more human when he sets off for Pat’s.

Pat answers the door with a lopsided smile and pulls Brian into his arms with a crushing hug, he kisses Brian’s forehead and murmurs _fucking missed you_ into his hair. As soon as they’re too steps inside Brian is looping his arms around Pat’s neck and kissing him thoroughly, walking until Pat is backed up against the counter.

“Missed you too.” Brian says, blushing a bit as he pulls away.

Pat moves over to the fridge, grabbing a two bottles of beer and opening them, putting one on the counter for Brian. “I got Chinese earlier since I had nothing in the fridge, I got plenty so there’s some there for you if you want it?”

Brian drifts over and leans against Pat, he looks at the takeout boxes and feels his heart swell to see that Pat sprung for the more expensive place that Brian insists they save for special occasions,  and there’s even Brian’s favourite satay chicken especially for him.

“Sorry I couldn’t wait for you to eat, I hadn’t eaten all day and got too hungry waiting.” Pat laughs and takes a sip of his beer.

They plate up some food and throw it in the microwave before settling on Pat’s couch to eat with television on in the background. Pat catches Brian up on everything that he’s missed with work, then Brian goes through what he got up to with Laura, pausing every so often to pull out his phone and show Pat a photo.

Brian’s sprawled over Pat’s lap barely a minute after they finish eating. “I’m sorry I had to bail on the plans for tonight. I just don’t think I could have handled it, I was feeling too fragile.”

“No don’t be sorry.” Pat pets his hair as he speaks, it makes Brian sigh and his eyes drift shut. “I wouldn’t have been able to be mean with you for long anyway I don’t think. It would have quickly become you getting a whole lot of praise for dealing with being ignored.”

“Mmm.” Brian sighs again, pressing his face into Pat’s shoulder before kissing his neck. “That would have been nice.”

He doesn’t regret calling it off, even at the realisation that there wouldn’t have been anything rough for him to deal with. Brian starts yawning not very long after that and Pat pulls him to bed, helps Brian strip out of his clothes as he presses soft kisses into his skin. Brian falls back into the pillows and can feel sleep taking over him already, as Pat wraps an arm over his waist and pulls him back flush against his chest.  
  
  


Brian wakes up to the pale blue light of four am as the sun has barely started to illuminate the horizon, the world feels quiet and still. And he finally feels back to normal, all the tension long gone from his body. He looks back at Pat with a smile before unhooking the other man’s arm from around him and quietly stepping out of bed.

He didn’t beat jet lag completely, he goes to the toilet before grabbing a drink of water in the kitchen, Charlie’s awake and winds around Brian’s legs looking for attention. Brian pets him for a moment and finishes the water before heading back to bed to try and fall back asleep.

“You ‘kay?” Pat’s voice is rough with sleep, he’s rubbing his eyes as Brian shuts the bedroom door and gets back into bed.

“Just thirsty.” Brian pulls up the covers and shuffles closer to Pat, tangling their legs together. Pat props himself up on an elbow to look down at him, Brian can’t make out his expression properly, it’s not light enough yet. It’s warm and tender though, and it makes Brian’s stomach flutter like it’s their first time in bed together.

Pat leans over and kisses him then softly at first, as his other hand comes up to trace along Brian’s jaw, Pat’s tongue slips forward and Brian opens his mouth with a small moan as Pat deepens the kiss. They kiss for what feels like ages, Pat’s hand moving down from Brian’s jaw to ghost over his chest, making Brian shiver.

Pat’s hand moves down to Brian’s hip, along the waistband of his boxers, Brian cants his hips up towards him slightly with a small whimper against Pat’s lips. Pat makes a sound of approval before trailing hot wet kisses along Brian’s neck, whispering against his ear. “God, I wanna fuck you.”

“ _Please._ ” Brian’s voice is a little strained, he pulls Pat so he’s on top of him and can grind his hips upwards, pressing their crotches together. Pat moans a little from above him and quickly captures Brian’s mouth in a much more urgent kiss.

Pat kisses down Brian’s chest with reverence, stopping to swirl his tongue over a nipple, or graze his teeth over the sensitive skin on Brian’s hips. “Missed you so much.” Pat breathes against Brian’s skin, kisses trailing from Brian’s belly button down to his boxers.

Pat runs his fingers along the fabric covering Brian’s hard length, teasing, making the younger man twitch beneath him. It’s shadowy and dark in Pat’s room still, Brian kicks the covers off them completely so he can see as Pat pulls his boxers off and tosses them aside before licking a wet stripe from the base of Brian’s cock.

Brian bats Pat away slightly. “ _Ah_. Please. I’ll come too soon. I wanna come when you’re inside me.” His voice is breathless, Pat moves back up the bed to kiss him again.

“Okay, gimme a sec.” Pat’s voice is hushed, still drowsy. He pulls his own boxers off and moves away to grab lube. He moves back over Brian, fingers drifting and teasing across Brian’s thighs. “You wanna stay like this or d’ya wanna flip over baby?”

“Like this. Wanna be able to kiss you.” Brian spreads his legs wider then, lifting his knees as Pat moves to between Brian’s legs, with a lubed finger quickly pressing against his hole. Pat goes slow, fucking the finger in and out slowly making Brian quiver with want.

“You’re so perfect Brian.” Pat’s voice is airy, like this is as pleasurable for him as it is for Brian. He starts pushing another finger in then, pulling a moan out of Brian when he curls his fingers against his prostate.

“ _Fuck._ Pat.” Brian starts to buck his hips as Pat moves his fingers faster, scissoring a little to open Brian up.

“Feel good?”

“God, you know it does.” Pat kisses back up Brian’s chest then, still working his fingers inside Brian, moving them in all the ways Pat knows he likes. He captures Brian’s lips quickly in a kiss and is starting to pull away when Brian drags him back down, kissing him again.

They stay like that for a while, tongues moving together as Pat fucks Brian with his fingers, pulling little gasps and moans out of him, bucking into Brian’s hand when it reaches down to touch Pat’s cock.

“I’m ready.” Brian’s really breathless now. Pat pulls his fingers out and moves to between Brian’s legs, head of his cock pressing against the tight entrance. He leans over and kisses Brian again as Brian wraps his legs around Pat’s hips and he starts to push inside.

Pat fucks him slow, whispering praise against Brian’s neck as Brian moans beneath him. “Missed you so much when you were gone. Missed having you all to myself. Missed having you ready for whatever I wanted to give you. _Fuck._ I don’t know what I did to deserve you. You’re perfect Brian.”

Pat changes the angle slightly, lifting Brian’s legs up higher so he can fuck him deeper. He keeps at his slow pace until Brian is begging beneath him. “ _Pat you’re perfect._ More. Please. _Fuck_. Harder.” It doesn’t take much more for Brian to come then, Pat speeds up, Brian’s moans get louder, short little gasps that make him throw his hand over his mouth to try and quiet himself

Pat grunts, “I wanna hear you.” Pulling Brian’s hand away and sucking a hickey onto his collarbone as Brian loses it without even being touched, coming all over his stomach. Pat thrusts a few more times before following Brian over the edge, breathing heavy into Brian’s neck.

It’s lighter in the bedroom now, as Pat kisses him again before he rolls off Brian and fetches a washcloth from the bathroom, gently wiping away the mess on his stomach. Pat’s expression is soft and full of love, Brian feels so lucky, to have found the love of his life so young with their entire lives ahead together.

Pat gets into bed and Brian pulls him close, face to face so he can kiss Pat softly and whisper, “You have no idea how much I missed you.” letting Pat pull the covers back over them both and drifting off back to sleep.

  


**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are the best and always mean the world to me if you wanna leave one!


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